You're not Drakken!
by Donteatacowman
Summary: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog/Kim Possible crossover. A green-skinned woman with a fake-looking mustache directed Kim and Ron's heroic intentions to a certain amateur villain's hideout. Yet no beating! Is it going to be the Senior's all over again?


_I do not own Kim Possible, nor Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. A couple lyrics from the latter, which I will gladly take down if FF Net wants me to do so.  
_

"Aha!" Kim Possible, word-saver extraordinaire, shouted victoriously as she burst into the villain's lair with a gangly blond boy and a naked rodent tumbling out of a large, convenient air vent behind her. "We have you now, Doctor… Doctor…" She paused as she looked around at the cluttered lab-slash-basement and taking note of the frightened man in the white lab coat standing obviously in front of her. "Um. Drakken?"

"Aw, man!" the boy behind her exclaimed. "I told you that green woman with the mustache was bad news! She led us to the wrong hideout!"

Kim snapped her fingers. "Shoot. C'mon, Ron, let's take care of this guy and go find Drakken."

"But Ki-im…"

"I told you- no Bueno Nacho until we finish the mission."

"KP!"

"No, Ron."

"But, Kim, it's almost closing time! Can't we let a villain go just once?"

Kim sighed, rubbing her forehead, then looked up at the all-but-forgotten villain. "Sorry. He's always like this."

The blond man in goggles shifted his weight nervously, tentatively reaching for something behind his back, but thought again and stopped. "No… no, I mean, it's okay. I've got time."

Kim smiled understandingly. Ron recovered from his momentary hysteria and looked up after he realized he was getting no attention. "Hey," he said. "We don't know you."

The villain bit his lip, looking undecided, but nodded. He was totally unprepared for Ron to rush forward, grabbing a hold of his white glove and pumping it enthusiastically. "Hello, I'm Ron, Ron Stoppable, and this is Kim Possible, and here's my buddy Rufus," he said quickly and pulled out the rodent from the pocket to which it had scampered. Said rodent waved a paw and grinned.

"Erm." the villain said. "I'm Doctor Horrible. I… I've got a PhD in horribleness!" His voice had become unnaturally loud as he tried to boost his confidence.

"Ooh, what school?" Ron asked.

Dr. Horrible stopped, confused. "Um… the University of Phoenix?"

"Oh, I didn't know they had classes for Horribleness there!"

"Um. Yeah. You'd be surprised by the different classes they offer."

"Guys," Kim said, interrupting. Ron continued to chatter and the Horrible guy kept looking nervous, answering in a panicked tone. "Guys," she said a bit louder. After no response, she shouted, "GUYS!"

Dr. Horrible jumped. "You're going to beat me up now, right. I know the hero drill," he added sullenly.

Kim and Ron looked at each other confusedly, slowly surveyed the mad scientist's rather unmuscular frame, then looked at each other again, each cocking an eyebrow. "I think we'll just call the police," Kim said after a minute.

Dr. Horrible snorted. "Like they'll do anything besides call Captain Hammer to pound me."

Kim decided she didn't want to know about this Hammerman character. She glanced around and scuffed her heel on the ground as Horrible rubbed his arm, looking at the ground. A few minutes of tension passed. Finally Kim cleared her throat. "So… what evil scheme are you working on now?"

"Freeze ray," Horrible answered with no hesitation, then silently reprimanded himself sharply. Intelligence gathering was probably her purpose here all along.

But Ron looked interested. "Ooh, like ice-"

"Time stopping."

"Oh." Ron thought for a short moment. "Why?"

A tune began to dance in Horrible's head. A song he had sung before. _Dah-da-dah, dah-da-dah. With my freeze ray I will stop the world… dah-da-dah… I'll bend the world to our will, and we'll make time stand still…_ But he cut it off mid-thought. Now was not the time to start a song and dance number about his love life. "Er. Evil League of Evil application?"

Ron grinned widely. "The League? I was in that once-"

Kim whapped the back of his head. "That was the _Villain's League of Evil Villains_ from Wade's comic book, not the ELE, Ron! Besides, you were under the influence of one of Hench's rays!"

Horrible apparently ignored her. "You were in a villain's league? Why? What pseudonym?"

"School word," Ron pointed out. "But I went by 'Zorpox the Conqueror'." He spread out his arms to indicate his evil side's grandeur. "Made an All-Terrain Plasma Catapult. And built a Mega-Weather-Generator. Good times."

"No rays?"

"Well, no. But I had a heck of an evil plan. Diversions and everything. Want me to give you some pointers?"

"I am the professional villain here, not you."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

"Ron!" Kim cried, exasperated.

"What?"

"We so don't need the spinning-tops-of-doom speech _again_!"

Ron rolled his eyes while Horrible looked interested. "Don't ask," Kim said before he could.

_Be-be-bebeep!_

Kim whipped a blue handheld device out of her pocket while Horrible and Ron began discussing evil goggle style. "Sitch me, Wade."

"Kim, where are you?" her tech guru cried from the speaker. "Drakken's hijacking the Wonderflonium factory!"

"On my way," she said. She flipped off the Kimmunicator and looked back at the boys. Horrible seemed to be in a better mood than before, she speculated. She hoped it wasn't because Ron had given him some tips on how to hero-proof his ventilation shafts or something. She sighed and yanked Ron away from the villain. "Time to jet, Ron."

"Okay, okay, just let me give Billy this address."

"Billy?" Kim frowned.

"Okay, the best frozen yogurt store on Main Street, but the one on Oak is closer and has a two-for-one special on Wednesdays and Saturdays, but I don't know-"

"Come _on_, Ron!"

Ron recognized the tone Kim used and cringed. "Well, see ya, Doc."

"Yeah. Thanks for the address… and for not beating me up."

"Anytime!" Ron shouted as Kim activated her jet pack and shot out, amidst the villain's cries of "My door!" that slowly faded into the distance.

Kim frowned at Ron, who shrugged and smiled guiltily.

"No Bueno Nacho today," she said angrily. Ron and Rufus moaned. Kim smiled smugly as the jet blasted across the sky.

--

Billy fingered the address Ron had written down and smiled smugly, looking at the picture of the older redhead in the corner. Any day now…


End file.
